(This story is from our archives of NextStep Magazine. The Magazine has since been renamed to AIC With You)

Caring for a frail parent can be mentally and physically challenging. But Ms Nor Aini Binte Kadir never gave up, turning to various agencies for help so her mother can be cared for and still live with her family.

Ms Nor Aini Binte Kadir faced the prospect of becoming a caregiver suddenly in December 2015, when her mother had a bad fall at home and fractured her hips and legs.

The 40-year-old housewife had no idea how she would care for her mother. But one thing was clear: Madam Alimah Binte Awi, 66, wishes to stay at home, near her daughter and grandchildren, who live in a block nearby.

“The reason my mother is living in Bukit Panjang is her grandchildren,” says Ms Nor Aini. “Though her friends live in the Ubi area, she moved here 18 years ago because she loved my children very much and wanted to be near them.”

Helpless and Unprepared

Things were difficult at the start. After Madam Alimah’s discharge from National University Hospital, the family was ill-prepared to care for her properly.

Madam Alimah had to sleep on a sofa in the living room, which caused her to develop bed sores. Ms Nor Aini also had to carry her mother to the toilet as they had no commode.

Many Helping Hands

Relief came in the form of the Medical Social Worker (MSW) assigned to Madam Alimah’s case.

Ms Nor Aini says: “He connected us to the right agencies, such as the Agency for Integrated Care (AIC).”

Through AIC’s Seniors' Mobility and Enabling Fund (SMF), the family was able to purchase a hospital bed at a subsidised cost.

Ramps and grip bars were installed in Madam Alimah's flat under the Housing and Development Board's Enhancement for Active Seniors (Ease) programme so she could move around easily.

Ms Nor Aini also attended a home-based caregiving course subsidised under AIC's Caregivers Training Grant, where she was trained on basic care needs for her mother, such as showering and diaper change.

“The help I received from the various organisations has lessened my burden tremendously,” she says gratefully. “Caring for my mother would also not have been possible without the strong support from my husband, my children, and my father.”

Quality Time with Family

Despite the difficulties she has faced, Ms Nor Aini is adamant in her belief of never sending her mother to a nursing home.

Ms Nor Aini muses, “She’s my mother. She’s the one who gave birth to me. How can I not take care of her and send her away?”

For Ms Nor Aini, caring for her mother means being able to spend quality time together.

“Here at home, she can see me and her grandchildren often. We eat, watch TV and joke together. We are able to bond as a family.”

“We may consider alternative options only if I am not physically able to care for my mother. For now, I am staying strong for her sake,” she relents. Madam Alimah echoes this sentiment.

“My daughter is a good person, she is very patient. She is very good at taking care of me.”

For those considering caring for their loved ones at home, Ms Nor Aini has this to say: “There are so many community care services available out there to support you in your caregiving journey. All you have to do is ask.”